Well, he was gonna come to my town for the fair . . . . . That isnt gonna happen anymore . . . . I was so excited. . . . I wanna see him again so much . . . but he doesn't have enough money, he needs about 200 more dollars than he has. I can't help him with that. I wish I could. I want to see him . . . I want to have him here so we can be like a normal couple. I'm tired of being the only one of my freinds without a boyfreind. I'm tired of hearing them talk about it. I want to be with him like that! I want to get in trouble with mom & dad for staying out late on a date with him but noooo he has to live in michigan, I have to live in Ohio & he has to have enough money for him to come here & I cant go to see him cause I'm still 17, I do have a job, I also have a mother who doesn't let me out of the house without knowing exactly where I'm going and when I get there and who I'm gonna be with. God I hate thiiissssss. I know there are lors of people who have it worse & i am grateful he's alive and well but . . . that doesn't make it hurt any less. Just makes me feel guilty for being so upset. It was so much fun at camp when we were together, it was . . . amazing, wonderful, I was so happy, I want more than that. I don't want to have camp counselors watching us 24/7. Yes camp was fun, now lets get away from meeting at the camp setting!! He's 18. . . . We should be able to meet. . . . . I wish anyway . . . I miss him . . I feel stupid. . I actually really really got my hopes up pretty high that he would be able to come. We were planning everything out, then he figures out how much money he needs and. . . 200 short. Why does life have to be so fricken unfair, I'm sick of all this but there isn't anything I can do about it. I'd send him money if I had it, but I have to wait until I get paid & even then it's gonna be under 200 and I have other things I have to pay for first. I just want to be with him. You wouldn't think it would be this hard or that you'd need 400 dollars but . . . I guess I don't know this world very well, I miss him. . . . . . ..